“People Do Not Understand How You Feel…”
One of the Hardest Things About Having Anxiety and Panic Attacks, is that the People Around You Simply Do NOT Understand How You Feel.
You tell them how terrifying a panic attack is and they think you are just exaggerating. You explain the anxious thoughts you have and they remark, “Hey I get stressed too”. You tell them that you wake each morning with a sense of dread, and they say “Oh come on, who is a morning person?”.
They simply don’t get it.
The weekend is coming up and your partner wonders why you can’t just go out for dinner with friends and leave your fears behind? What they don’t get is that sometimes you think you will actually die the fear is so intense and that your mind is in such a fog that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for a minute.
You wish they could understand this – and when they don’t you feel alone and depressed.
I’ve got two things to say about this:
1. YOU ARE OKAY
Yes you have a problem that needs correcting. You wouldn’t be reading this right now if you didn’t. That’s why you surf the net looking for answers. That’s why you constantly worry if this problem is more serious than just anxiety. You worry about the scary bodily sensations and if you will always be like this. You get a jolt of fear at the thought of losing control in front of your friends or co-workers.
I know all this because I have been there. I have had the exact same thoughts and fears as you have had.
And you know what? It’s OK.
It’s OK because all of this is curable. All of the anxiety can be healed and no, you are not going to lose control or go insane and NO a panic attack is not going to kill you. It’s all OK because you are perfectly safe….
2. FORGIVE THEM
Forgive those that belittle your anxiety. They have no idea how terrifying it can feel. Forgive the doctor that dismissed your story and told you to just go home and try deep breathing. Forgive the friend who stopped calling because you no longer could go out. Forgive the boss who placed all that extra stress unnecessarily on you. Forgive them all because they just don’t know how difficult it is without having experienced it for themselves.
3. GIVE THANKS
Stop for a moment and tell your anxiety you are actually happy it is part of your life. That might be the last thing from your mind right now but anxiety will become your ally, not your enemy. Believe it or not, this problem will teach you how to be a BIGGER PERSON!
Anxiety will give you the greatest gift possible, greater self awareness. It may not feel like that now because you are in the eye of the storm but you will come through this and out the other side stronger.
You will WIN in the end.
It reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with someone who had completed the Panic Away program. She said after so many years of anxiety and panic attacks she could finally see the hidden lesson and gift of anxiety. She now had a rock solid sense of confidence that had not been there before. She felt her old self again. She won in the end and you will too.
Let me show you how to win…
Sign up below to my free 7 part mini-series on ‘How to End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety’. One lesson gets emailed each day.
There is no fee and no catch – just real life changing information all these people have used to end their anxiety. You can unsubscribe easily in one click if you want, so give it a go and see how much better you will feel in just 7 days.
To Your Success….
Barry Joe McDonagh
Author of www.PanicAway.com
Nemesio
Thank’s Joe I hope to receive your email soon
Jane
Dear Barry
Thanks a lot. Whenever I feel low, I keep reading the testimonials. Feel sorry that there are so many suffering from this problem. But God has heard our prayers as he has sent you as a friend to help others. God bless you with a very long life so you keep helping inspirng people all over the world. Thanks a lot. God bless.
Mazhar Ali Khan
Thanks for your email. I appreciate your help and guidence and request you to keep me on your mailing list as your sugessions are always very helpful for me.I read them carefully and pray for your happiness.
Milette Cruz
Dear Joe,
Thank you very much for your email. I appreciate so much your program. It helps me a lot…but I need to tell you that my panic attack go back from time to time but it’s more manageable..Thanks for your help.
Renee de Smidt,South Africa
Thank you for your email,
I will appreciate more help regarding my panic etc.
Any advice is welcome,
Thank you
Marj
Thank you for your emails, especially the recent one. I am so encouraged and grateful to hear a consoling advice from you. Truly it’s a nice feeling that there are some people understand what I am experiencing. I am not alone. Realization that I say to myself, “No one can understand you, unless they already experienced it.” I am only 18 years old, a student, and I usually get stressed out in my studies (I’m in college with a stressful math subjects at school) and the effect is, hyperventilation then panic attack.. I experienced those since when I was 9. It will occur at least twice a year before, but recently it occur almost everyday last 3 months ago.. it’s really hard to forget what I experienced at school, at home and sometimes in a mall before.. All I can do is to cry because of the loneliness I am feeling. Being Anxious really hinders me from being happy about my life. I should not let it conquer my life. Thank you very much for all the advice again. It really also helped me overcoming those things little by little. It’s a relief. May God bless you ALWAYS and Forever! 🙂
Thanks a lot! Godspeed!
-Marj ^_^
Daniel
It’s so much easier to understand yourself when someone else explains it too you. I’ve gained much help from you Barry and I’d like you to know how much I appriciate what you have done, so thank you 🙂
usu
thanks for your valuable information and possiblities in dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. I will aprreciate to get further support in this area
steven
Thanks Barry, your newsletters and coarse material is so motivating. I’m getting on with my life, just getting out there and dealing with my anxiety better. It’s still bothers me at times but knowing that I’m not alone and have the support is a huge boost, thank you.
Nenad Mešič
Barry I tank you for jour briliant words.My english it’s not so god but I will try.My panic atac started almos 2 years ago and i tryn to defet it I’m in a good progres.I wana to say you that your work is worthed a Nobel Price for peace.The panic atacks it’s like my worst nightmere. I don’t wana get infected enymore like I was in first month of my ilnes.It was a hard but I geting progres now.The time it’s heal the wounds.Thank you.-Nenad-
James
My anxiety had been growing, and it had erupted a few times into full-blown, shivering-cold-fear-of-death-teeth-chattering-fists-clenched-shallow-breathing attacks. I was going one day at a time, one hour at a time, hoping the attacks wouldn’t hit. I’m a school teacher, and dreaded the sensations that would hit me throughout the day, the sensations that struck fear in my mind.
Then, I found your website, your words, your logic about this anxiety. And you helped me put anxiety in it’s proper place……a figment of my imagination. And, now I’m free.
Yeah, sometimes, I get stressed and feel the old friend creep into my life, but with your ways, they quickly fade away, and peace and calm come back to me.
Thank you, Barry. You are so blessed to have helped so many people. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
jo
Hi Barry! thank you so much for the info, it helps me a lot! i’m doing good right now that every time anxiety attacks me, i remember you, and recalling the techniques that you send me.. thank you so much.. it’s a relief when you’re still sending message and helping so many people with this kind of situation. keep supporting and guiding us to a better coping and recovering,, God Bless you..
A.Prabhavathi
I am very much thank to u, i am suffering lot of problems and facing difficulties in my personal work ,yet now i didn’t sucess in my life so many times i will be anxiety .when i read Ur notes .its vey useful to me.
laura
Hi Joe,
Thanks you very much for writing me again. I value every letter you send me, I love reading them. It’s like you really know how I feel. They make me feel good to know that i’m not alone feeling these things. Pls keep writing me.. Thanks!!! You are God send.
Monabel de Leon
Thanks for shedding light on this matter. Now i know why people can’t understand the way i am. My mom used to tell me that my attitude is different beyond understanding and there is a time that i hated myself.
I’d appreciate receiving more excerpts from “Panic Away.” It’s a good thing to know that there are people who feel what you feel.
polia
thank you!!!!!!
boss from iraq
hi dr.barry..
i think that the word (thank) isnt enough for you and your staff
you are the best person who knows the meaning of panic attacks
may ALLAH bless you as you helping the wounded spirits.
kind regards
busa rabia
thanks for the amazing advice,and its really nice og you to help out and do it just for the good of it because you understand, atleast people that have panic disorder know there are people like you out there that understand and give out newsletters like you did!! it was a big help and like youve said the panic gave me strength and im stronger giving out the fact i feel more experienceed with pain because ive lived with pain for more then 3 years, lived with fear; and by becoming part of the news letter it gave me more help..thanks alot
Astrid
Hi Barry Joe,
I want to thank you for all the wonderfull tips, words, and mentoring you have mail me.
It was a great experience, you did helped me and others arround me, with this problem.
Thanks again for all those letters who was a great relief.
Blessings,
jason trillo
thanks very much for the letter i hope that you can help me in my anxiety.
Helena
First of all, I want to thank you for your e-mails, and your dedication to help people.
I am 38 and GAD with panic attacks were diagnosed about six, or seven years ago, It started with some stressfull period in my life, my doctor prescribed me Xanax, and I started to go out, with reduced symptoms. I started to work again, to go shopping, to go out. But when I look back, I think that can`t say that I free myself from Xanax. All these years I carried it in my bag. Yes, I am perfectly aware that panic attacks won`t kill me, but I still not have enough courage to say googbuy to Xanax. Actually, last year I had some merriage problems, and my going out fears started again. Dizziness, sweating, heart bitting, calculating when Xanax has maximum influence on my symptoms to safely go out. I am perfectly aware that I`m not ill, but still I have very strong negative anticipate thoughts what would happen if I go out, or if I stay longer in a walk. Yes, I`m going to weddings, caffes, market, but I`m avoiding busees, or, everything I can avoid. Than, I`ve heard for you, and I strated to practice your counting technique, and it works, but still with Xanax…
I`m asking myself what is the clue: to solve my merriage problems, to become satisfied person after so long, and it will solve my panic attacks.. Or, first to solve this GAD and stressfull symptoms when I`m going out. Somehow I think is very connected… although I`m educated, succesfull bussiness women and dedicated mother….
Thanks once again for your effort to teach others what you have been struggling, too.
Andrew Turner
Barry, i thought i wanted to finally reply to your posts as they supported me greatly and just to see the case studies on your website, blew me away. I had seen numerous doctors and specialists as my symptoms were varied and not one of them suggested anxiety associated with panic attacks. I was on my own in Europe when, after arriving in Prague i had the panic attack from hell. I went to the hospital, the fifth visit for me in the previous four years, and yet again i got the same results. So i doctor googled it and found your website, thank you, thank you. What a blessing. It was a gift and the beginning of my transformation. I now know that my anxiety is/was a gift as i am more body aware. My anxiety came from grief or lack of it and i had shut down emotionally. Upon doing your exercises and taking on my symptoms i had a major cathartic experience(s) and i went into breakdown, crying etc, if you will, for several weeks. If i had not gone to Europe and totally out of my comfort zone i may have still been struggling to this day. But i am not and thanks to you and your method of treatment/awareness i am a better stronger person today,more than ever. As they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and anxiety doesn’t kill it is a gift, thank you again and again, yaahoo
shaharyar
thanks sir for your valuable advice,its really helpful not many people are lucky enough to find your advise in my city,i share with my friend about your tips& advise,
thanks a lot,
shan.
kamal khatiwada
Thanks for giving me positive advice. i don’t know i am ok or not but i am feeling at least some positive things. Many times negative feelings atticks on my mind, but i am starting to control over them.some bad dreams and frostation still attacking me………..and i am the citizen of one poor country so i don’t have proper internate access.i want to read your treatment advice but i have not enough money so if it is free of cost i want to read it once .
TCL
Have appreciated the regular emails you have sent. They have proven very beneficial. Thank you and God bless
margaret hanley
Thank you for emails and the awareness you have of panic /anxiety attacks.It is a great comfort to know the awful symptoms of panic are so common and not exclusive to me.keep up the good work and keep sending the emails.Margaret
Julio Reyes
Thanks for your email, its hard to understand that the panic attacks are not harmful and the problem is not a dead sentence. please keep us in contact your words are really helpful to maintain courage.
God Bless You.
Julio Reyes Mendieta
Thanks for your email, its hard to understand that the panic attacks are not harmful and the problem is not a dead sentence. please keep us in contact your words are really helpful to maintain courage, i really apreciates your comments. God Bless You.
Lynne
i ran across barry’s site while in the middle of a panic attack. before i had even read the info on the home page, i was feeling better. i ordered the program, practiced it faithfully thru a few more mild attacks and in what now seems like an overnight miracle, the attacks ceased. i have not had even an inkling of anxiety since. this program is quick, clear, concise and most importantly, IT WORKS! thank you so much, barry! letting you know that you changed my life is an understatement.
Monica
“People Do Not Understand How You Feel…”
The above statement says it all. Many years ago I experienced severe PA’s over several months. Had no idea what was going on with me. Those around me just didn’t understand, this included family and friends.
Comments, were like, “Oh, just get over it”, “pull your socks up”, “shake it off”, “it can’t be that bad?”, “what’s your problem?”, “you must be hiding something”, “what don’t you want us to know about?”, “you’re such an upbeat confident person, what’s the matter with you?”, “you’re just being silly” “there’s nothing to be scared of”…….
Went to see someone who was extremely helpful. He managed to get me off meds in a short period of time and I actually overcame my PA’s for 15 years.
A few years ago my brother started experiencing PA’s and ended up losing his job because of it. He went through counceling and meds (still on them) and has improved dramatically.
Until he walked a mile in my shoes, he never understood how terrifying this all could be. Guess what I’m trying to say, is no one can fully understand unless they have experienced it for themselves. (Not that I would ever wish this on anyone).
Doctors know the symptoms and hand out the meds based on those symptoms, just to put a bandaid on the issue but never wanting to deal with it. The most experience they have with PAs or anxiety is from medical books and journals.
When I first started with PA’s my doc just kept pumping me full of meds. Told me I was under stress and take some time off of work. I was so over medicated, I did not know who I was and couldn’t even leave my house. The solution, more meds………
Well, my 15 years of being PA free ended a couple of years ago.
Just wanted to give “thanks” to Barry for the opportunity for all of us to communicate with each other and for the moral support. This wasn’t around 15 years ago. It makes a big difference not feeling so alone and not being misunderstood.
GMIGUEL
Thank You Barry for the newsletter. It really help me alot, and I want to continue getting your emails. Im still having a few anxieties, but I learn how to control it, because of all the positive thoughts you have given me. God Bless you always.Thank You!
Ken Robinson
Thanks for writing and by all means send me anything you want, cause I’ll read with great interest for everything you say definetly makes alot of sense. It’s been more than six months since the panic away program has come into my life and thankyou. My many attempts to help my anxtious times to not become a major event has definetly been helped by all your informative ways to ask for more and to embrase the moment. Thanks for helping in the fear factor and thanks for giving me the tools to understand. Ken
Lorena
I want to thank you for your program, when i had the anxiety attack i didnt know what was wrong with me i though i had something or i was going to did and i was scare. untill i saw your program and tryed it. it help me a lot and maed me understand what it was. ones again thank you.
madeline pannell
thank you so so much for panic away, i have felt wonderful since joining,i am very happy now, at first when i felt unwell, i just kept reading your emails over and over again,and did what they said,and now i can cope with nearly everything, once again thankyou.
Grace de Leon
hello barry,
I have had panic attacks since 2003 and was under medication (xanor and seroxat). I took that until 2008. I was okay all throughout that time. I was able to enjoy my life and be healthy (I joined a gym and ate healthy). From 2008 until june 2010, I was able to be free of panic and medications. But this july 2010, I got a lot of depressing and terrifying news, one after another. I thought I could handle it but I am starting to also feel tightness on my chest that won’t go away unless I drink painkillers. I am also having palpitations and starting to be afraid of everything. I have normal blood pressure but I am afraid that this constant fear and anxiety would elevate it and kill me. That is my fear for now. I am also doubting myself if I can do it without medications as I have done for 2 years now. Honestly, I don’t want to be under medications again. I hope to do it naturally. But this constant fear of me dying because of high blood pressure due to anxiety and stress is paralyzing me. Help me be enlighten.
I would wait for your response. Thanks.
Tala
Thanks for the lovely and helpful email i recieved , its been pleasure reading it for more then once as it eased me alot . i am not good in expressing myself in writing but thanks again i really appreciate your reply .
Best Regards, Tala
Astha
Hi,
Barry, Its been wonderful Recieving ur Mail. Thanks so much for such a wonderful advice for free.
Im thankful to u as it is really helpful. Doesn’t matter where i am but had helped me.
Thanks Once again,
Regrds,
Astha.
pradeep
Dear Joe Berry
whatever you shared here you just win my heart. I don’t know whether you manage to read this comment or not, I would like to share other colleagues that I have the same amazing fears and distress unreasonably..I had almost lost the power and will to live. As Joe said, anxiety is part of our life , as day is complimentary to night anxiety is complimentary to happiness..we have to accept it rather than rejecting it. It will definetly make us even more strong and powerful.
Good analysis and suggestions Joe!
Thanks from heart.
Pradeep
anthony littrell
MY MAN WE HAVE GOT TO MEET AND GO OUT TO EAT MY TREAT.LAST NIGHT I JUST KNEW MY HEART WAS GOING TO PUMP FOR THE LAST TIME MY ATTACK WAS SO BAD! I SUFFOCATED FOR ABOUT 2 HRS AND HAD SHOOTING PAINS IN MY CHEST THAT FELT LIKE THE BIG ONE WAS TO BE ANY MOMENT .I UNWILLINGLY FOUND SOMETHING TO DO AND TURNED ON MY COMPUTER BECAUSE I COULDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT SLEEPING.WHEN I CHECKED MY EMAILS THERE YOU WERE “GIVING AWAY THANKS”.I USED THAT TRICK AND GOT IMMEDIATE RESPONSE.LETS EAT MY FRIEND MY TREAT, TONY LITTRELL
phides mburia
hi Barry,
may the lord God bless you abundantly for your generous and wise counsel.
i have learnt a new thing today, that i should accept anxiety as part of me and move forward.
Claudine
Thank you Mr. Barry. This course has helped me so much I have been able to help others. I feel like I have more control over my life and am not afraid to go out anymore. There are still times when I feel overwhelmed (like in a large crowd, or surrounded by loud noises) but I can handle myself fair enough.
I just had to say thanks. I know you probably hear this a lot, but, you have made a great difference in my life.
consuelo tolentino
thank you for you advice and for reaching out.hope to here more from you sir joe berry.thanks alot consuelo
Nelly
I cant thank you enough for your information god bless you….
Anne
Hi there Barry.
I dont know how to thank you, i am 33 years old, ive had anxiety since i was 21. I look back on life, an my god i struggled. No one understood, at first i didnt understand me, before i had anxiety i lived life to the fullest, id challenge myself and tried new things, when i got anxiety that stopped. I remember going to the doctors for the first time about it, they didnt really know much about it either, which made me feel worse, they tried giving me tranqulizers, which “freaked” me out more. I was a solo mum, i couldnt go to the park, or enjoy my daughters performances, this is the part of my anxiety i really do regret….it effected my daughter.
Over the years, ive tried self help programs, reading info on anxiety etc… none of these helped. I felt that this was going to rule my life for ever. As my daughter got older, i was working full time, this was also a struggle, i am a social worker, i often found myself in situations thinking, “How can i be a good social worker when i have a “mental health” problem that i cant resolve”?
Then i got offered a new job, meaning new pathways, and advancing in my career, i remember thinking, i can do this, but i am scared, as my anxiety is going to fault my performance. This is when i found your program. My god someone else is actually explaining anxiety as i know it to be, there is someone out there that understands it… I read through your program, and became excited, this was new.
I entered into my new job, i went to my interview, i survived with the help of your program, i didnt panic, i felt it coming on, and told my anxiety to bring it!!! Huh and it didnt, it actually worked.
So i got my job and i was doing well with it, around three weeks ago, i had to do a presentation infront of around 30 people in a small room, no windows and it is summer. All the ingrediants i needed for a full on panic.
Around 10 min before going in, i became anxious, i had sweaty palms, and a dry mouth. I was thinking, well if it happens ill just walk out. I got into the room, we had to do a round of introductions, this went well, i became comfortable, i stood up and done my presentation, i made sense and i didnt freak out!!! it was a success.
I know that my anxiety can come and visit at any time, the difference within me, is that i am not afraid of it.
Thankyou so much for my new life….
Con
Hello bazza,I honestly can’t remember sighning up
For your news letter, buy anyway.
It’s quite amazing that you are offering free advice for
Us unfortunate people who have this panic disorder.
Because let’s face it there’s alot of people out there
Trying to make a quick buck with cures(ass holes).
I’ve been a victim for 25 years and only got help,so
Called professional 3 years ago. A psychiatrist who
Prescribed LEXAPRO, have been on it since.
It has worked,has it fixed the problem, NO.
I don’t experience random attacks anymore but
If I fly or find myself in a place I’ve never been before
That would probably bring it on. Hence the fact I’ve
Never travelled over seas.
What do you think,Barry.
Is there a cure?????
Regards Con
Katrine
Hello,
Thank you for your newsletter – it reminded me that it has now been 3 years since my last full blown panic attack and I have you to thank for it. The techniques you taught me has meant that I no longer have to live my life in the shadow of anxiety. This is a gift – thank you.
All the best to you and to the others out there who know what a panic attack is like.
Katrine
Lori
I was doing so much better. Then the creditors started up. Now they are coming by in PERSON again. So I fear opening my front door. My husband had identity theft and the fall out is still going on. They try to take us to court. My nerves are again so shot I cry and jump when my kids run up the stairs.Everything scares me. My chest hurts and feels like my heart flips in my chest again. I’m so discouraged. I SO want to be that person who simply knows all will be well. I WANT this.
I appreciate your program, but I guess I need to apply myself a bit more, eh? The emails are great too. This just has to pass again. It’s no way to live.
Lisa-Marie
I am a psychologist who works primarily with children but I suffer from anxiety myself. I wouldn’t describe my attacks as full-fledged because of my training in CBT, I know enough to know I won’t faint or have a heart attack but it’s still distressing to feel you’re losing control of your anxiety. I skeptically downloaded the program thinking “Here we go again, another pop-psychology method with no proven results” and was astonished how it worked for me and I think I can introduce it to kids rather easily using the metaphores of the waves and rollercoasters. It’s really helped me also de-pathologize what I was going through…There’s a special kind of self-loathing that comes with the fact of being a trained mental professional and having issues yourself. You feel like you need to cure yourself in order to be good at what you do and if you don’t, you feel ashamed. I hope what people get out of this program and these blogs is that there really is something about mind over matter and that the human brain is astonishing. It may plays us bad tricks at some points but usually it is just as clever in finding a solution…
Cheers,
Lisa
Irene Menendez
I want to thank you. Over two years ago I ordered your book Panic Away book. Before that I could not fly in a plane that did not have a row in the middle. It had to be a wide body only. I would have to pay extra to make sure I was on such a plane. I always made sure I was the last passenger on. That way I would not have to wait as long for the plane to take off. I had to take Valium before I flew. After reading your book over and over, practically memorizing it, now I can get on any airplane and be first on without a problem. I can’t thank you enough. It really works
Archie Wilson Jr.
Hello brother,
I purchased your program when it was a .pdf book only. You know the one with a person wearing goofy looking goggle’s as they sky dive. Was that your picture? Have had victory over Panic from the moment I began putting what it says to “Practice”. When I forgot, I would re-read and practice again. Victory is mine!
Afterwards I purchased a new improved hard copy as a present for a friend. However I recommend suffering victims purchase their own copy. The free advice is great, the site is awesome, but purchasing the material gives an extra incentive to put the MOVE on panic.
Now I also can wear “goofy looking goggles” with confidence!
Many thank’s,